Sunday, October 11, 2009

I love you, Daddy


I remember spluttering and squealing, clutching your wrists at age four when you shampooed my hair, because somehow, the soapy water always trickled into my eyes when it was your turn to give me a shower.

I remember the comfort of resting my head over your shoulder at age five as you carried me through endless late night weddings in India. My chin bumped against your back as you walked, and though I towered over the world from that height, I caught the sweetest naps in those moments, safe in your arms.

I remember the smell of incense and twisting my head to peer at you, upside down, as you did the headstand on a Sunday morning.

I remember how you drove the beat-up car so Mom could drive the supercool, more comfortable one.

I remember how you were always the refined, gracious, diplomatic one while Mom blazed trails of fire with her spunk and vivacity. Between the two of you, I tasted the wild and the controlled; that heady mix of opposites that gave me the flexibility to adapt to the norm, while keeping the fire of of my spirit burning bright.

Over the years, we've shared moments of deep sorrow that stretched before us like a boundless desert, misunderstanding that hung around like dark clouds and mistrust that crackled like a burning log, every now and then...

Over the years, we've shared moments of great happiness that pulled us through our barren grief, understanding that forged a bond no force can break, and trust, that sparkled with the innocence of fresh dew.

For the times you have been there to catch me as I stumble... For the times you have driven me to stand up, brush the blood off my knees and walk again... For the times you have nursed me back to health... the nights you've stayed awake worrying about me... and long ago, changed my diapers, cleaned up my puke...

For deciding to be a parent and dedicating all your waking and sleeping hours to the constant thought of my welfare...

For living through the day Mom passed away, putting your life together and finding meaning and purpose in it, all these years later...

For giving meaning and purpose to the lives of children you teach...

For choosing to be my father in this life - I would have it no other way.

I love you, Daddy.

7 comments:

Arzed said...

Greetings from Brunei Darussalam

McDonnell-Reyes family said...

Saraswati......I loved your tribute to your Daddy. My daddy passed while I was in my early 20's, so listening to your sweet voice in my head as I read your words, gave me that feeling of him smiling at me. I miss him so very much and although I know he's always nearby, I still miss that feeling of being in his arms and smelling his cologne.

Thank you for sharing this with me.
love,love,love,
Margaret

McDonnell-Reyes family said...

Saraswati......I loved your tribute to your Daddy. My daddy passed while I was in my early 20's, so listening to your sweet voice in my head as I read your words, gave me that feeling of him smiling at me. I miss him so very much and although I know he's always nearby, I still miss that feeling of being in his arms and smelling his cologne.

Thank you for sharing this with me.
love,love,love,
Margaret

sing o sing a song..... and we gotta sing along.. said...

call me mad ..call me cliqued...but i must begin with an Awwwwwwwwwww.... :)
Saras ...between the ever looming cold war on cleandliness, organisation .. and constant bickering over pretty much everything... we all love our daddy's.... only..I would never have the guts to put it down on paper and if I did thr is no way on earth I'd have him get within a mile to it... :)
but today is a day daddy is getting a biigggg huggie ...
thanks :)

Sai said...

This is so so beautiful! Brought tears to my eyes. I don't think there can be an account more descriptive of the amazing father he has been to us!! Thank you for this.

STEVEN said...

Beautiful sweet, when we look, it is always so simple to see how much more love there is, than anything, else.

I too wish my dad was still here...

IRIS said...

Came here from Sai's blog.
You write very beautifully. This post is specially very heart wrenching. Brought tears to my eyes!
Thankyou for writing such lovely words!